Hello Gals, today I have a post for you that’s completely non makeup related but I fell a very strong need to put out there for women everywhere to (possibly) see.
**Please note: this post might be kind of rambling because I have a lot I want to get typed out but I would really deeply appreciate if you’d read through the end.**
So I recently came to the final conclusion that I am a feminist. For a very long time I didn’t identify myself as a feminist because as far as I knew that was a group of women who hated men, who burned theirs bras and did a lot of chanting. But that’s not what feminism is at all, that was feminism in the 70’s.
Today’s feminists are strong women who stand up for equality across the board. Who are anti-hate, who are all for equal pay, who want to inspire and encourage other women to be brave and stand against the scary realities that being a woman entails in today’s society. That’s what I want to support, as a woman and as a person. I don’t want my daughter to grow up and have to be scared to walk down the street at dusk. I don’t want her to be nervous going to evening classes out of fear of the walk back to her car. I don’t want her to be whistled at like a dog and catcalled everywhere she goes because men look at women as sexual objects.
Being a female doesn’t mean having long blonde hair and strutting around in a bikini 24/7 to show off your bod. Being a female can be that, or it can be having short hair and loving sports (which doesn’t automatically indicated lesbian tendencies, FYI!!!), or having braids down to your feet and being in a band, or loving making or hating makeup! Being a female shouldn’t restrict or dictate what you’re allowed to look like or enjoy doing in your spare time. You should be able to having a career and have a family! Because God damnit that’s our right as individuals, so long as you’re not hurting anyone or breaking the law you shouldn’t be pressured into certain molds just because that’s the social norm.
I want all young girls to be able to grow up and not be afraid all the time because men and our society cast so much blame on young women. The most horrifying thing is that when a woman is sexually assaulted now the first question too man people ask is “what was she wearing”, “did she lead him on?”, “we’re you drunk?” and the list goes on and on.
This is rape culture and it is wrong. It doesn’t matter if a woman is wearing a short skirt, if she is drunk (or let you buy her a drink), or if she kissed you a bit. None of those things are a yes to sexual intercourse.
For some reason a vast majority of men, especially young men nowadays, think that women dress and do our makeup for men. No matter your reason for wearing what you wear or doing your makeup, it is not okay to take those things and assume that we as women do them only for men. As you all know I am very into makeup and beauty, I do that for myself, I use makeup because it’s not only a confidence boost and makes me feel fabulous as hell but also because it’s FUN. I don’t care if a woman walk down the street wearing sweat pants that say “sex” across the butt, that isn’t an invitation. Each and every persons body is their own, and unless you have their express permission and they tell you they want to have sex with you, you cannot just take what you want. Everyone is allowed to change their minds, regardless of the situation.
It is not just women who go through this, men can be sexually assaulted too. It happens, and sadly even fewer of those crimes are reported because as a society we have put more of the blame on the victim, and a lot of people are embarrassed or scared to come forward. Why as a society can we not see how fucked up that is???? If someone has the courage to step forward and face head-on being assaulted like that, in what world is it okay to blame them? No one asks for that, it’s a horrifying experience and to then throw it in the victims face and make them feel guilty for falling victim to such a horrendous crime?! That is horrible and is something that NEEDS to change. When someone steps forward against their rapist we need to raise up and show them that it’s okay, that it’s possible to live again, that being sad and hurt is acceptable and that they are in no way in the wrong. We need to shout from the rooftops that there is no circumstance where sexual assault and abuse is okay.
It’s not fair that women have to be scared on some level almost constantly because of men only looking at them as sex objects, and will say nasty things and in some cases do horrible things.
Women and men should be equal, our gender should not predetermine our roll in society and it certainly shouldn’t deem women as lesser people with fewer rights. It is a travesty that in some countries women can’t go outside without a man for fear of being dragged through the streets or stoned to death. We should be able to wear what we want without having people assume we are all sluts. A mantra I’ve recently been trying to adopt is “good for her, not for me” (-Amy Poehler) because personally, I don’t understand girls who sleep with a lot of people, or girls who like the party scene; but if that’s what they want at that point in their lives then good for them, just not for me! The only thing that bothers me when it comes to that stuff is when women think that’s a healthy lifestyle to maintain. If a guy is a porn star he must be a total bad ass getting to have sex with so many chicks but if a woman is a porn star she must be gross and dirty. Christy Mac for example, she has a degree from Berkley but chose to do porn, and that’s great for her! If that was fun and something that made her feel happy in life then that’s great for her (she’s now retired from porn and runs a non-profit campaign helping women, children and men who need safe places to stay and/or are victims of abuse).
I know that the likelihood of my post changing these things is slim-to-none but if by saying these things and trying to spread awareness about the things women have to deal with (ranging from hard to horrendous) all over the world and giving other women/girls the confidence to stand up for themselves and their right to be respected and equal then that’s enough for me.
These things need to change, that’s the bottom line, rape culture needs to end, inequality needs to end, and disrespect & shaming of women need to end.
Thank you all so much for reading, if you have a Twitter I highly recommend @WeAreFemstrong and @WeNeedFeminIsm
We Need Feminism is my favorite, it has some extremely powerful photographs and is very inspiring, I encourage all of you to follow both, retweet, & take part in this extremely important and long overdue movement.